Friday, May 06, 2011

Right-Wing Labels Translated

Political correctness: When a liberal gets offended.

Treason: When a [right-winger] gets offended.

Constitution: The Second Amendment.

The little guy: Business.

Small business: Big business.

Big government: Government.

Freedom: Doing what I want.

Security: Keeping you from doing what you want.

Reform: Government programs I like.

Socialism: Government programs I don’t like.

Tax reform: Tax cuts.

Job creators:  Rich people.

Gay agenda: Being gay.

Competition: When I win.

Corruption: When I lose.

Pro-life: Pro-embryo.

Soft on crime: Pro-innocent.

Tax increase: Expiration of “temporary” tax cuts passed under President George W. Bush.

Birthers: People who refuse to believe that President Obama was born.

War fighters: Soldiers.

War on Christmas: Saying “happy holidays.”

Democrat Party: Democratic Party.

Illegals: Undocumented workers.

Family values: The  Gospel according to Ozzie and Harriet.

So-called science: Science.

Unions: Teachers, police, and firefighters.

Main Street: Local strip mall.

Scripture: The parts of the Bible I like.

God: The deity who founded America and who happens to agree with me on everything.

Jesus: Me, when I don’t want to talk about myself.

America: High-income Caucasians who live in the former Confederacy or wish they did.

Posted via email from liberalsarecool.com

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